Camarederie and Wombattery in the Firefall Pro Headquarters

We’ve recently had some inquiries regarding the various departments and staff within the FireFall Pro Headquarters. So, here we are to dispel rumors, and to enlighten those who may be interested in gaining further knowledge about our company.

Our tentative mascot (as of July 17, 2012)

Meet Harry the baby wombat. He’s thoroughly upset when people misspell his name (see: “Hairy”, Hairball”, “Hairywomb”). Don’t make this mistake.

Our PR Department
One may believe that our PR department consists of a handful of people (if you’ve called our office, you may have had the pleasure of speaking to multiple representatives), but in actuality we just hired a voice actor to play the role of three different employees – Scott, Jess, and Lily. Hiring voice actors is advantageous because it reduces the workload of employees and gives the impression that we in fact care enough to have you on hold for 15 minutes while we “forward you to a higher up”.

Our Resources Department
Thanks to our Craigslist solicitors (refer to our Illiteracy Contest Awards), we have a plethora of potential employees we could recruit on our team. Fortunately, we don’t want any of them.

Our S’mores & Liquor Department
Have you ever seen the show “The IT Crowd”? This department is comparable to that show– they hide out in a basement and only ever come out for office parties, i.e. every day after 5 when S’mores and Liquor make an appearance.

This list is already getting too long and bothersome to deal with. Call our Customer Service Department if you want to know more: (917) 464-5231

Until next time, fellow readers!

Comments are closed.